Apricot

JUNE 8

Enjoying my fruity success with the pineapple, I decided I would try to increase my fruit-love with apricot. Ironically, I have had about twenty-seven thousand apricot jelly sandwiches, but I have never had the fruit itself. (Similarly, I drink orange juice all the time, but I’ve never had an orange.)

Apricot basically tastes like peach but with tougher, stretchier skin and requiring a bit more commitment to swallow. But I really like it – it’s very much in the peach, nectarine family and I would gladly consume again.

         Of apricot, peach, nectarine, I’d say in terms of my life and King Lear, peach is Goneril, nectarine is Regan, and apricot is Cordelia. I say this because I have always had an unhealthy obsession with Goneril and peach is my favorite of those three fruits. For those of you unfamiliar with King Lear, King Lear is a king (I hope you follow me so far) with three daughters, Goneril, Regan, and Cordelia. To skip an eye-gouging, a lot of loincloth, and the entire plot, Goneril and Regan are the evil (yet bad-ass) daughters while Cordelia is the good daughter who gets disowned (and has to marry the King of France instead of inheriting a third of her father’s kingdom, cause like, that’s a sucky punishment, right?).

         Goneril is the bees’ knees despite abusing her father, cheating on her husband, and poisoning her sister. I feel no need to explain why I feel this love. I just do. Goneril is clearly peach on the peach-nectarine-apricot spectrum – the most awesome and juiciest. Regan is nectarine – we’ll take her when there’s no peach. Apricot is Cordelia – last remembered and last eaten, tough on the outside and yet light enough to carry onstage after she gets hanged.

         The moral of the story is: At the end of the day, it’s Goneril, not Cordelia, who recites the line, “Holla, holla!” This is a true fact. (V.3.80)