Fish n' Chips

JUNE 10

            My father used to cherish a most powerful dream. He wanted a family. And with this family, he would eat bratwurst.

         When he married, he said to my mother, “Now, my bride, we shall dine at a German restaurant and feast upon the bratwurst.”

         My mother responded, “Hell, no.”

         But my father’s dream was undeterred. He knew that someday in the future he would eat bratwurst with his son and heir. Finally, the day came. His son was born. His son was me. I’m not eating bratwurst.

         (A quick aside: I’m not actually sure that it’s bratwurst. You see, bratwurst is “a sausage usually composed of veal, pork, or beef” [Thanks, Wikipedia!]. There are many types of bratwurst such as the Nordhessische Bratwurst. But while bratwurst si roasted wurst, brotwurst is “wurst intended to be eaten on bread” [Thanks, Google Answers!] But that’s not the wurst of it (heh heh): then there’s rotwurst: Thuringer Rotwurst also known as Thuringian blood pudding is a form of cooked blood sausage. [SausageWiki, cause like, that’s a necessary database] But here’s where it gets tricky: there’s also Thuringer Rostbratwurst which is a spicy sausage. Actually, these all might be the same thing. Who even knows?)

         Bratwurst still sounded like a little bit too much so I agreed to go with my dad to a seafood shack. Not like an actual shack. I’m just saying shack cause it sounds like I’m a seafood regular. (I’m not!) (But I do eat fish n’ chips!) (I used the “n’” to make it look like I’m a seafood regular too.)

         To be honest, I’m so new to fish n’ chips that I’m still reeling from the revelation that the chips are actually French fries. TWIST.

         So we were on our way to the seafood shack to eat clams and stuff cause I was going to be adventurous (never have had clams…except crab cake…wait, not the same). We didn’t actually make it there since I veered us off instead into a more familiar restaurant where I could order the side of mac n’ cheese.

         But, I also got fish n’ chips. (If you put them together carefully and take liberties with the apostrophe positions, you get macfish ‘nn’ cheesechips.) While I had eaten fish n’ chips before (once? Twice?) in my past, I had never ordered it as my sole (HAH!) entrée. (Not counting the mac n’ cheese.)

         It was fantastic though! I assume it was cod because fish n’ chips are usually made of cod. It was quite fried, crispy, and heavily breaded which is the way I like it. Well done, fish n’ chips.

         If I can eat fish n’ chips, all you have to do is confiscate the fries, unbread the cod, swap the cod with veal, pork, or beef when I’m not looking and call it a brotwurst, and then it’s brotwurst! I’m only four steps away from realizing my father’s most cherished dream!